Trying to Sync the Biological Clock

It's been quite awhile since my last posting.. and quite a lot has happened. The "big kids" in our life have crossed major milestones in life - Melissa and her new husband have moved back out west to finish school, and Donald has left for his two year church mission. The rest of us are really just holding on for dear life. Although these latest losses are "normal" ones, the youngers can't differentiate and they are very dys-regulated, Cheyanne to the beat of hostility, anger, opposition and and today culminating in In-School Suspension.... Lynn is coping by amping up in the areas of stealing and hoarding and overall social awkward silliness. It's hard. I find that I have very little tolerance many days for the huge task that is therapeutic parenting. I think there might be a mini- biological clock that lives within me that says;" hey.. you birthed two kids, 19 years has since passed so you must be free of the need to be a daily/perpetual parent.. so celebrate, relax more, travel.. nice job mom! :)   The problem is, the bio clock never synced the fact that two others were added to the family mix later in life who need the above mom to not only stay on daily/perpetual mom mode, but to amp up the energy to match the added needs of the youngers triggered by this newest loss. The two are not yet connecting.. and I find more often than not I am just going through the motions - missing my olders dearly and not wanting to find the energy for the overflowing needs of the youngers. Really.. it's an 'I just don't want to do it right now.. '   I think I need a vacation.