She Kinda has It Coming

Lynn shared with me yesterday that she had to report a peer for sexually harassing her over Snapchat. For "normally-developing" teens with no trauma history or 'baggage', the responses of most of the adults in their world given this kind of event are generally comments full of concern and maybe even anger towards the aggressor. For Lynn, given her complicated history and challenged behavioral choices, the responses were more along the lines of the following, "well, the way she acts and dresses she kinda had it coming."  My first instinct was to immediately recoil and push back on the blame-the-victim mentality, but I admit I had second thoughts as well that looked scarily similar to those of the other adults who commented. Just another example of the kind of cognitive shifting that happens in the world of raising traumatized children.  In the end though,  in the words of her brother, "it still isn't right".

Baseball Caps and Eye Pencils

Sometimes it's the everyday "stuff"  that really gets to you. Things seem to be going along just fine with no major issues and once again you are lulled into thinking that maybe this time the healing really has happened and your child really has become "normally developing." And then.. .the ball cap shows up missing and you know exactly where you left it, and you finally figure out how to get into the new Powerschool Portal and lo and behold the child who has continuously reassured you that they have no homework is failing history, and as the frustration level really begins to climb again you discover that the one eye pencil you use every day; the one that has lived in the same drawer in the vanity for years is all of a sudden missing, and you are thrown right back into it. Maybe you really did misplace that item this time? Yeah, you know better.