Fill Your Own Cup?

I love to travel. It really is one of my favorite things to do in life and the one activity almost guaranteed to provide me with much needed rest and relaxation. And - every good  therapist is sure to remind those of us who are tasked with the job of raising traumatized kiddos that we have to make sure we fill our own cups so we are able to do the best parenting job we can do, right?  So, with all of that in mind I have been very mindful over the last few years to be sure to include on my schedule at least one good vacation trip. The problem is, my vacations inevitably trigger severe attachment-related behavioral reactions in Lynn. The last time I went away on a short vacation was the time she disappeared and ran away to her bio mom's house. This time, I returned, from a wonderful cruise in the Caribbean,  to a 1am knock on the door from our local police officers who were asked to make a well-child check on Lynn due to some suicidal ideation activity on her Snapchat. As I dug into that some more I found out that not only had she expressed interest in drinking a bottle of cough syrup, she also had shared with a young man she met at a church dance that if he told anyone that she tried to kiss him that she would kill herself and sent him pictures of slashed wrists (not hers) to prove it. She was able to tell me that she felt really depressed and did wonder how much medicine she needed to take so she didn't have to wake up in the morning.  We spent some time on the phone with Crisis, played with the idea of a residential treatment stay, and then checked in with her full team who had varying degrees of concern. The result: no real action or changes,  and now that I have been home for a week, she is re-regulated and back to "normal". So, yes, we do need to fill our cups, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth the drama upon the return....