It is
relatively certain at this point that Lynn won't be coming home at all. She is
currently still with her Bio aunt in the city - (even though the aunt's children
were removed by DCF because it was determined to be an unsafe
environment.) Lynn did allow her respite provider to drop off her belongings to her that I
had crated up, and the two of them are staying in touch at least a
little. I pushed the school team into remembering that they still have a
responsibility to Lynn, and can't just remove her from their roles and pretend
she isn't there, and then the respite provider took the lead and was able to talk Lynn into
meeting with a core group of the team with the intention of "closing"
her relationship and gathering her educational materials (That meeting is
scheduled to take place at DCF next Thursday.- I am participating
only by phone as needed.) as she....wait for it... prepares to move to
Florida to live with her bio Dad - whom she has never met and has only
reconnected with through social media a few months ago!! (this story just
gets wilder and wilder. I couldn't make this stuff up..)
Lynn herself has
reached out to me only a few times since Christmas, and generally to ask me for
things she needs: her "shit" - which is undetermined because I
already boxed up all of her things and gave them to her, and her social
security card, which for some reason I am not feeling like I want to put in her
hands. We had a few words last night and I ended up telling her that if bio dad wanted to come up to the house when he comes to 'claim' her on her
birthday then I would put the card into his hands - and she agreed to that, but
I'm not sure now that I can go through with that plan. On the one hand I am
intrigued by the idea that perhaps I can make a reasonable and mature
connection with this person who is going to take over the parenting of this
teen he does not even know - with the hopes of creating a more long term and
sustainable relationship... but on the other hand, I am honestly not feeling
safe with that kind of a meeting - both for me emotionally because of Lynn just
traipsing back into the house pretending like nothing has happened and that
this isn't a big deal - and to be alone with this man who I don't know from
Adam. So.. the jury is out on this one still. I will likely come down
somewhere in the middle and opt to meet him in a neutral location with a
support person for myself.. It would be a bit sad not to be able to show him where
she has grown up.. but maybe if things work out for them he would return at
some point and we could do it then. Im just not ready for that yet. I also
think I'm going to tell Lynn that I am not comfortable with even that kind of
meeting until bio dad and I have made a connection via email or phone
first.
So.. now you are
current. It is so miserable - really a grieving process - but grieving for
someone who is still alive - and who rubber bands in and out of your life
- is so weird. I'm not loving it.
No comments:
Post a Comment